Failure to act immediately could result in the appearance of some Umbrella Girls we would rather not see. (Photo Courtesy of Keith Dalessandro) » More Photos

We are moving into uncharted waters here, and can only hope a resolution is prompt to avert what could be a potential disaster. Just imagine a bunch of unmodified Umbrella Girls, in drab olive muu muus and Doc Martins, with their hair in pigtails wearing horn rimmed spectacles on the grid. Race officials could even view contact lenses as a non-permissible modification. Hell, they might even ban the removal of facial hair, and that could get confusing. And what if a minimum weight limit was imposed? Where would they hide 30 pounds of lead if they came up short on the scales? The mind can only imagine the trouble. Next they would start demanding a certain IQ, which could certainly make for some very empty grids. And we all know that doesn’t make for a great race.

Then, heaven forbid we have a series of technical inspections after each and every race. Look at the trouble that was caused when that happy and gracious Australian fellow was found to have a crankshaft not coming straight from the factory. The last thing we need is a bunch of officials checking for internal modifications after each race. How’s a team supposed to maintain its integrity if they are caught running a cheater motor at this level of competition?

So dear friends as the debate rages, take comfort that all of us here at Couger will be burning the midnight oil preparing our legal cases for keeping fully tuned Umbrella Girls on the American race grids for 2009. We believe that teams should be allowed to modify their Umbrella Girls to the best of their abilities without restriction and we need your support.

See the 2008 Umbrella Girls Photo Album